Thursday, August 23, 2012

New Years Almost Resolved

       Here we are, folks! Nearly three-quarters of the way through the 2012 year. As many of you will remember, at the beginning of the year I made a New Year's resolution that had many scratching their heads. In case you need to be reminded...

Back in January, I resolved to "love myself the way it is". My mission was to learn to love the way I looked without constantly thinking of ways to improve or change the way I look. Now...8 months into my resolution...I am happy to report three things:

1.) I have gone the majority of the year without makeup. Out of the past 237 days, I have worn make-up about 40 times.( Give or take a special occassion or two.) If I did wear make up, I did so simply because I wanted to go through the whole girl process of "getting gussied up."

For the first time in my life,  I wore make up to enhance my features, as opposed to hiding my flaws.
Ladies, if you have an enormous pimple on the end of your will still have an enormous pimple on the end of your nose if you pile concealer and foundation on top of it.

 It doesn't go away, and it doesn't make it invisible. Hell, half the time it just makes it look....angry.

Thus, it is with great pride that I announce... I DON'T NEED MAKE-UP.
I have never needed it.
I look back on my days of habitual make-up the way an ex-smoker does; often saying, "Why did I even start?"
One thing I find most humorous is how many women say, " can get away with no just don't need it."

I have a secret for all of you...are you ready?

You don't need it either.

It's just what you are used to. It's what our mothers and grandmothers did. Even though it's traditional for women, especially southern women, to put their make-up on with a garden trowel... I promise you....

You. Don't. Need. Make-up. To. Look. And. Feel. Beautiful. 

You don't.
I've been there, done that and got the self-depreciating T-shirt. You're talking to the queen of self-depreciation, and she's telling you, "You don't need it."

2.) My natural hair color. I haven't had my hair colored since last September. I never thought I would ever have anything nice to say about my natural hair color.

To me, it's always been boring.

So...I forced myself to really look at it one day.
I was shocked to realize that my natural hair color is almost the exact shade of my eyes. (Kind of a golden brown.) I have found, when the sun shines through it, it isn't just dishwater blonde; I see browns, reds and golds....and this reminds me of Fall. My favorite time of year. This alone makes me happy with my decision to leave it be.
My hair isn't just hair's a Season!

3.) There was one big problem with my resolution: I was silly to think I could go an entire year, and just accept myself the way I was.

While it does force me to look at the way things are, and accept them;
While it forces me to love them the way they leaves no room for growth.

 I was blindly optimistic in thinking that I could go through an entire year, not change anything about myself, learn to love myself the way I am, and not be changed by it.
 Being 3/4 of the way through my resolution, I look back to where I was in January, and I just have to laugh at myself.

There I was, bare-faced, bare-souled and arms opened wide... with my feet planted in a pair of concrete shoes.
 Desperate for change, but hell bent on achieving it by not changing anything.

Thus...I am revising that part of my resolution: For the last quarter of the year...I am open to change. I am running toward the doors that are opening in my life much in the way I run toward free cupcakes; With excitement, big eyes and arms gesturing in a "give me that before I explode" motion.

Give me change.
 It only took me 237 days, but I think I'm finally ready for it.

On December 29th, 2011, I sat in my living room floor, typing as fast as my little fingers could and I stated:
"I apologize in advance to anyone that I unintentionally terrify by going into public without cosmetics. Self discovery isn't always pretty, folks. "
I would like to retract that. I'm not sorry. I look fine without make up.
Also...self discovery isn't always pretty... It's scary, eye-opening, hard to accept, and above all... beautiful.

                                           Before                            After

This song is so fitting. In my life, and hopefully yours.

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