Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Growing In

Well-worn leather shoes.

High neck sweaters.

Bobby pins and long beaded necklaces.

Clearance brassieres and cotton camisoles.

Fabric scraps transformed into hair ties.

A cameo brooch.

Scarves adorned by polka dots, paisley and plaid.

Jeans aged so they carry dusty memories in their seams.

A soft oatmeal-colored sweater with deep pockets and shiny buttons.

A wardrobe fit for an elderly-fashionably obtuse woman.

Maybe one day, I'll grow into it.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Celebrations & The Chaos Theory

       Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word connection as:

noun \kə-ˈnek-shən\

: something that joins or connects two or more things
: the act of connecting two or more things or the state of being connected
: a situation in which two or more things have the same cause, origin, goal, etc.        
      Last week, I had the privilege to perform a wedding ceremony for two people whom I love very much. The wedding was small, but overflowing with love. We met in a park not far from the couple's home. Family and friends circled around them as they exchanged rings, vows and roses.
Tears were shed, laughs were let out into the Universe and while many in attendance did not know one another...we all felt connected by our mutual love for the happy couple.
Hugging a complete stranger that day felt as natural as hugging your oldest friend.
We were connected by a single moment.

Yesterday, I was gently reminded people are connected by much more than the joyous moments they experience together or the mutual friends they have. People are connected by the similarities of their own lives. Sometimes the connecting factor is something as simple as your title:


Your role in life, while not directly connected to someone, can connect you more than you know.

As I thought about the varied ways in which we are all connected, my mind kept circling around "the butterfly effect". The butterfly effect is a phrase which engulfs the more technical notion of the chaos theory. The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny and unnoticeable changes in the atmosphere that can ultimately cause a tornado to appear.
The flapping wing represents a small change at the start of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale occurrences.


Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the direction of the system might have been different or non-existent.

I learned yesterday that a dear friend of mine lost her mother to a hard battle with cancer.

While I do not know her mother well - I do know what it is to mother.
While I do not know the intricacies of their relationship - I know what it is to not only share a kinship with my daughter, but a friendship unlike any other in my life.

I was fortunate enough to spend the entire day with my family yesterday.

After learning of my friend's loss my day seemed somehow different.

It felt purposely slow. I felt myself drawing out every laugh, hand-hold and hug.
That day - that moment, suddenly seemed more important than anything else in the world.
The sun felt warmer.
Hugs were tighter.
Tickles were longer.
Bedtime was delayed by cuddles.

I had a beautiful day yesterday with my family and I know my friend's mother played a part in that.
The importance of the day, the warm sun, the tight hugs, the long tickles and delayed bedtime...all because of Renee's wings.

My heart is with you all.

Sunday, October 6, 2013


Motherhood is stepping into a new life

It’s trading in carefully selected outfits for whatever is clean

It’s ponytails and roots that need to be touched up

It’s grabbing the stuff out of the bottom of the sink knowing it’s the nicest mess you’ll clean all day

It is reading books and checking fevers and getting peed on

Motherhood is changing

It’s a refrigerator that used to be a refrigerator but now doubles as an art gallery

It’s eating cold dinners and helping the “goo-goo’s” transform into words

Its sticky fingers that don’t seem so sticky when they wrap around yours

It’s kissing foreheads and finding hot-wheels in the microwave

Motherhood is knowing why the sun is bright and why farts stink and what’s inside of Mayonnaise

It’s a true understanding of how wonderful a quiet house can be

It is heavy sighs as you look at yourself naked in the mirror

It’s being envious of freedom and small waists until you hear your daughter say, “Mommy, you smell like Christmas.”

It’s being, both, ecstatic and sad when your kids learn to wipe their own butts

Motherhood is stages

It’s dropping the kids off at school at 8:00 a.m. and listening to the clock tick violently until 3:00

It is soul searching

It’s wondering what your purpose is when the kids don’t need you anymore

It’s finding yourself

It’s re-learning your name because for the last six years you have been “So and So’s Mom”

Motherhood is understanding that being a mother doesn’t define you-

What kind of mother you are defines you